Birthdays.

And guess whose one is it today?

Ok, I know it's supposed to be Ro but it's an Epic PHAIL. I just can't draw out of my head I guess. Then again, happy birthday!

I like blogger. You dont have to name the pictures you upload.

Ah, but you can see horrible white eraser markings.

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Oh come see my deviantart for my full art gallery! yohred.deviantart.com :p

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Ahaha. It's that time again! Emo post time! We'll start slow, not so emo to more emo stuff. Haha, I sound so jolly.

Previously, I said that illustration is the one for me. I might have second thoughts about that. Why is my life filled with so many buts? It's so sad that all of us have to go through this. What I want to be. More importantly, what God really wants me to do in my life. Like my ultimate purpose or something. I wanted to do illustration. It's a good field to venture. Then again, will I get any money? Some of my friends started designing children's book covers with their art skills. I mean when you do illustration, where's the pinnacle, the most you can go into? Game designing? Comic drawing? It's not really where I want to reach in life. Moreover, how much can you earn designing comics? It's a life out there that you need to face. I'm a guy, I'll need to think about my family as well. Ha, what a sad job option.

My relatives have recommended me to go into another field of art that is architecture. This was actually my first option since a long time ago. I was just hesitating to answer because of the long studying period of 7 years. That means if I start when I am 18, I will end at 25, an old man. But many things have caused me to reconsider this option. One of them, is how much money you can earn. Calvin Lau's dad, is a friggin castle owner. And, he's an architect. Inspired much. Hahaha. And, I always wanted to be an architect since I was standard 5. I remember drawing house plans that I wanted to build. Haha, let me be old lah, It's only 25 years of age. What's more, I prefer designing, creating something new compared to just sitting down rotting away with the normal duties of an accountant or whatsoever. Boring.

Now, moving up the emo scale. XD

It's not so emo-lah actually, but I have been quite emotional about it lately, just want to spill it out. I'm also quite afraid about comments like, "Wah, that guy so despo wan ah?", the typical Josh statements. Most guys keep it inside. Got ego mah. But I think this time I'll just spill it out.

To start the rant rolling, what a guy would usually talk about is girls and I'll start of with that.

*breathes deeply*

Hahahaha, you might find this funny but I have,only me and it is just a feeling or small taught that popped out from the back of my head that I lack female companionship. Nothing serious. Not that I don't have any female friends at all, but I just am lacking some. Now there is a reason for this. I have a very high taste for girls. I'm dead serious. It's not the looks but the attitude kind of taste. If I can't stand the attitude, it's real turnoff for me. Not only that, I cannot maintain a very solid conversation with most girls. Not including the fact that I am afraid to start a conversation. Haha, pretty stupid right? I think the problem is that I don't have the correct platforms to start talking. Like many people meet new people via tuition and stuff like that, but I don't go for any tuitions and stuff. Because of that, I hardly hang out with anyone except for my clique in school.

Haha, And I forgot to add that I do a lot a lot of stuff because I want to get to impress girls. I tried to draw, sing, play the guitar, look good, just like most guys do. But the thing is that I've got too far with so many of them. And none of them had worked so far. =p. It's really funny. But it's quite good now, I can do all of the above. Extra talents in life. Haha.

It's quite Ironic when you watch movies and they tell you all sorts of things concerning what a guy will do to get a girl but I found out the hard way that it's all true. Another thing, my puberty came late I think. Unlike many, I think that I started really understanding this issue late last year and it's really stupid. My maturity level matches Kah Jun, just that I don't use the same techniques as him. When I think about it, I had so much opportunity to mix around with more people when I was younger compared to now. And now it's all wasted since I'm leaving school soon. I could have established much stronger bonds with people but now, as I said it's all gone.

I've got more to rant but whatever lah. It's getting boring already.

That's all I want to rant about actually. Boring eh. You should say like yeah, I've wasted my life reading this bullshit. "I can't stand people who post stuff like this online", says Josh. Haha. Think all you want.

Haha. See you in school tomorrow.

Schoolgirl

A Malaysian schoolgirl.

Classroom

A girl studying in a classroom. Obviously Malaysia. Looks like I might seriously go and take up Illustration. Better buck up from now. And get a damned scholarship.

After this.

Which way to go?

Study.

That is what all of us should be doing.

Girl with music

New fave artist, Benjamin Zhang. Love his random yet awesome paintings that depict real life. Just Awesome. Did this today, in about 1hr 30 mins.

Mind Trick

Haha... I know I am so full of myself. Me, singing and playing the guitar. I hate it, when you think you're good at something but the reality is, you're not great, and it's not going to work in this world of competitive people.

That really really applies to me. I love to both sing and draw but will I get anywhere in life doing just that? It's a big question that bugs me. What should I FOCUS on? Should I continue to draw? Play music? Immerse myself doing my studies? Which will benefit me the most? I really hate to slack like this. Moreover, I wouldn't want to waste another 1 and a half years in college doing what I don't want. I should choose really quickly. I really pray that God will show some direction especially in this area. It's going to be a path that I will not be able to go through again.

Since I am focusing on too many things, I have not really improved in any way. My art for instance has not improved a lot since I was form 4. My singing has definately become much more bearable since I learned to sing. But still in order to become great, I must focus on a particular area. Not only that, I need to provide as the male species. What should I do in order to be able to support others in the close future?

And, many others have definately ranted about this issue: Graduation. Everyone realises that graduating isn't as pleasant as what we speculated it to be. I mean, we did talk about how ridiculously stupid education system of the government is and how glad we would be to get it over. The thing is that now, many realize that we are going to leave the things that drove us to go to school. Friends. And most of us are really upset that these people are going to go away from us to pursue their own frontiers. And soon we'll come to realise that we have passed the golden years. We actually understand what that means now. It's really sad. We're throwing away our lives for a piece of paper?

Me, Zack, Ro and Jace have been hanging out for the past few days and I can really feel like these are going to be the last times we are going to see each other. What I'm going to miss most is the laughter and how well each of us cliqued. Plus, the fact that we're so mean to each other. It's so funny yet enlightening that someone insults you and laughs at you in a jokingly stupid way. Zack does it the best. But, it's all going to change shortly.

Worse, SPM apparently got changed from the 16th to the 11th. That means I'll miss the flight to Aus. Also, it means more money for a deferment my ticket. It's the whacky government. Can't be helped. I really regret the fact that I'm going to miss prom and a farewell to most of my friends who will be starting college by the time I'm back from Australia. Added to that, KP is leaving for NZ on the 25th. I would only be able to see Ro for a very limited amount of time before she goes to Melbourne.

I just got to tell myself it's all a mind trick.

A video of nigel's song. The IBA winning song. That day, I was the bassist.

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1090489117303&ref=mf

For this song, nigel did everything cept for the electric guitars and the second voice for recording purposes. He is uber.

Forgetfulness

Today could have been one of the most fun days of my form 5 life that is related to school.

But it wasn't.

I've lost my keyboard pedal. And it wasn't even mine. It's my churches' one. I just had to forget it. And it has ruined my day. I hate my darned forgetfulness.