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Friday, October 9, 2009

Mind Trick

Haha... I know I am so full of myself. Me, singing and playing the guitar. I hate it, when you think you're good at something but the reality is, you're not great, and it's not going to work in this world of competitive people.

That really really applies to me. I love to both sing and draw but will I get anywhere in life doing just that? It's a big question that bugs me. What should I FOCUS on? Should I continue to draw? Play music? Immerse myself doing my studies? Which will benefit me the most? I really hate to slack like this. Moreover, I wouldn't want to waste another 1 and a half years in college doing what I don't want. I should choose really quickly. I really pray that God will show some direction especially in this area. It's going to be a path that I will not be able to go through again.
Since I am focusing on too many things, I have not really improved in any way. My art for instance has not improved a lot since I was form 4. My singing has definately become much more bearable since I learned to sing. But still in order to become great, I must focus on a particular area. Not only that, I need to provide as the male species. What should I do in order to be able to support others in the close future?
And, many others have definately ranted about this issue: Graduation. Everyone realises that graduating isn't as pleasant as what we speculated it to be. I mean, we did talk about how ridiculously stupid education system of the government is and how glad we would be to get it over. The thing is that now, many realize that we are going to leave the things that drove us to go to school. Friends. And most of us are really upset that these people are going to go away from us to pursue their own frontiers. And soon we'll come to realise that we have passed the golden years. We actually understand what that means now. It's really sad. We're throwing away our lives for a piece of paper?
Me, Zack, Ro and Jace have been hanging out for the past few days and I can really feel like these are going to be the last times we are going to see each other. What I'm going to miss most is the laughter and how well each of us cliqued. Plus, the fact that we're so mean to each other. It's so funny yet enlightening that someone insults you and laughs at you in a jokingly stupid way. Zack does it the best. But, it's all going to change shortly.
Worse, SPM apparently got changed from the 16th to the 11th. That means I'll miss the flight to Aus. Also, it means more money for a deferment my ticket. It's the whacky government. Can't be helped. I really regret the fact that I'm going to miss prom and a farewell to most of my friends who will be starting college by the time I'm back from Australia. Added to that, KP is leaving for NZ on the 25th. I would only be able to see Ro for a very limited amount of time before she goes to Melbourne.

I just got to tell myself it's all a mind trick.


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